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princetabris:

i cant believe people consciously choose to follow me and decide to themselves “Yeah I want to see more of whatever this nerd’s doing”

hellaoptile:

you know how when you go to a concert or show of some sort and the person on stage is like “HOW’S EVERYONE DOING TONIGHT?!?!?!?!” and the audience cheers back? why? you’re not answering the question, you’re just yelling. imagine if we did that in daily conversation. “hey jeff, how are ya?” and jeff just starts screaming and clapping in your face

verticulars:

I think my parents consider me to be a god. Because they always ask me ridiculous questions that I don’t have the answer to.

writens:

Hey man, I’m just trying to keep this friendship alive and you’re kinda not cooperating with me lol

professionalcinnabon:

anch0vies:

spazztastic-muffin:

When your teacher is nice but can’t fucking teach

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When your teacher is mean but teaches really good 

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When your teacher is mean and can’t fucking teach

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whatslifewithoutfandoms:

tortillah:

remember when zack and cody entered a parallel universe

and london was smart

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and maddie was dumb

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and esteban was a woman

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so basically they were their stereotypes

  • Me: *out for dinner with my dad because we were too lazy to cook*
  • Random Old Lady: *comes up out of no where with the most judgmental look ever* (will also be refereed to as 'ROL')
  • ROL: Isn't he a little old for you?
  • Me: Well, considering he's my Dad, I'd say that your a judgmental hag.
  • Dad: *chokes into his drink*
  • ROL: You should respect your elders.
  • Me: You should respect your youth, we're the ones who'll decide on whether or not to pull your cord in like, what? Five weeks?
  • Dad: *chokes on his drink again*
  • ROL: *storms off*
  • Dad: *looks at me with a disapproving look*
  • Me: What?
  • Dad: Come on, you and I both know it will be three weeks.

waywardcastiel:

i hate it when you’re walking along and you suddenly become really self-conscious about the way you are walking so you concentrate on walking normally and just end up like

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